Puso o Isip?

Pusong iniingatan, nasaan ka na?
Bakit nawala ka sa dati mong kinalalagyan
Bakit nga ba tumatalon ka na lamang nang biglaan?

Nandito lang ako, sabi ng puso ko
Nakatingin, nakatitig, nag-aabang
Nararamdaman ko ang nais mong ipaalam
Pero may pagkakataong ang paghihintay
ang isang bagay na dapat ipaglaban.

Maghintay ka!, sabi ng isip ko
Alam mo namang sa pagmamadali, walang
magandang kahihinatnan
Lahat ng bagay, may tamang panahon
Sa bawat panahon, may nararapat kang matutunan at ipangalandakan.

Puso:
Ngunit bakit ganito, hindi ko maipaliwanag aking nadarama
Sa isang banda, nais ko sya’y laging makasama
Sa bawat sandali na nais ko syang makita
Tanging ninanais ay lubos ko syang makilala.

Isip:
Minsan, puso, ika’y mapanlinlang
Minsan mo na akong dinaya sa iyong mga nararamdaman
Ngayong may pagkakataong ihayag ko ang aking mga ideya
Di ko na hahayaang masaktan pa sya
Sapagkat, ikaw puso, at sya na ating pagkatao,
ay nais kong maging masaya.

Puso:
Isang beses lamang ako nagkamali, isip
Sa dinami dami ng ating pinagdaanan
Hindi mo ba hahayaang ang ating mahal na pagkatao ay tuluyang maging maligaya?

Isip:
Sa isang pagkakamali mo, puso
Natutunan kong maging malakas
Natutunan kong unahin muna ang sarili ko
Sa bawat pagkakamali na nagawa mo
Hindi lang ikaw ang nasasaktan, pati ako
Sa bawat pagkakamali mo, lagi mong tatandaan
Ang aking mga natutunan ang syang magbibigay
direksyon sa iyong tatahaking daanan
Puso:
Tama ka, isip, hahayaan kitang mag-isip
Pero hindi mo mapipigilan, aking nadarama kahit isang saglit
Pag-ibig na syang kakaiba
Alam mo namang hinahanap-hanap ko na.

Isip:
Mas makabubuting hindi tayo magtalo
Bagkus, hayaan natin sya sa kanyang mga plano
Kung may balanse sa iyong damdamin at sa aking ideya
Sigurado, pag-ibig na wagas at tunay, kanya nang madarama.

Pagkatao:
O puso at isip, hindi ko alam sino ang susundin sa inyo
Isa lamang ang alam ko, naguguluhan ako
Sino ba dapat ang pakinggan, si isip o si puso
Para maramdamang tunay
ang pagmamahal na kay tagal nang hinintay?
Tama! Isa lamang ang alam ko na dapat gawin
Sa Maykapal, siguradong ako’y diringgin
Hahayaan ang puso maramdaman ang sarap ng pag-ibig
Hahayaan ang isip magsabi ng dapat gawin
Ngunit sa lahat ng ito, hahayaang ang Maykapal ang magdikta ng aking damdamin.

Ngayon alam ko na
Hindi na ako magugulumihanan pa
Puso man o isip ang syang paiiralin
Kung ang Maykapal ang may huling salita
Sa aking mahal, ako’y lubusang mamahalin.

My Quarter-Life Professional Crisis

Last March, I applied for a Fulbright scholarship for Masters In Instructional Design and Educational Technology. However, on the last week of September, I received a letter indicating that I didn’t make it to their final cut.

At first, I was hurt. It was my dream to go abroad and complete my postgraduate degree. I chose Instructional Design and Technology because of the nature of my current work. Now that I am rejected for a post-graduated degree, I feel like I am in a wandering desert in my career. Call it quarter-life professional crisis. Maybe in the future, I can find another road that I can take to pursue my dream of becoming an instructional designer and certified elearning developer.

For now, I will do what I know best:

Be excellent in where God has placed me in work.

Meet deadlines.

Honor God with my work.

Proverbs 12:24

The hand of the diligent will rule, while the slothful will be put to forced labor.

Hope for Eternity

The past month have been very busy for me, emotionally and spiritually. Last August 28, four of my closest friends in church died after crossing the Tarlac river. They just finished their outreach mission of teaching the kids of the Aeta community about Jesus that time. Unfortunately, rains poured down and the water level increased significantly that they were caught off guard and died afterwards. It was an emotional time for me and my friends as we mourned for their loss.

Even though we experienced the loss of our dear friends, I appreciate the fact that we were not alone in this ordeal. My friends and churchmates were in this together. It gave us pain just thinking of Nadette, Yasmin, Rocky and Reyvin who would not be here to share to us God’s love and their walk with God. On the flipside, we are encouraged because we know that our friends are now with Jesus in heaven.

John 3:16

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 1: 12-13

Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.

Still

Have you ever loved someone?
Have you ever felt the feeling that you have found the one?
Well, in my case, I don’t know if he’s right guy for me
But I always prayed to God that, someday, somehow, he would be my destiny.

Ok, I know I’m still young and have lots of things to learn
But what can I do? I am only a human, a being capable of loving
I know I must first have great titles to earn
Before I can venture in the world full loving and caring.

I guess you’d be surprised if I tell you that I hate him at first
“We are competitors,” that’s what I tell myself at most
He competes with me in academics and so am I
I don’t even care if he’s a cutie pie.

When our paths would meet, we would avoid each other
When we must work together, we always choose another
I don’t like him I don’t know why
Maybe because he always competes with me and makes me cry.

For almost two years, we were always like these
We didn’t do anything that would make each other please
Until one day, I just realized I badly needed his help
Because I couldn’t finish that work only by myself.

And so, I humbled myself and asked him to help me
Even though I know we didn’t treat each other fairly
He gladly lend a hand and helped me with my work
Even though he knows I avoid him at most.

By this gesture, it surprised me a lot
And because of this, I admire him somewhat
This admiration grew as time passed by
For I became a friend with this kind of guy.

I planned to tell him what I felt about him
But then, the opportunity I see was somewhat dim
For a friend told me that he is longing for another
And so, my dreams with him were really broken after.

Now, I’m trying hard to forget that he’s really the one
But I know in my heart that my feelings are still not gone
I’m still hoping and praying that someday we will be
But for now, I guess I’ll just reach out what I wanted to be.

*This is a poem I’ve written last January 16-17, 2005 for my speech communication course.

My inspiration for this poem: my first crush in high school. 🙂

Paalam…

Ang tulang ito ay pinasulat sa amin ni Sir Dennis Aguinaldo on our last day of classes sa Humanities 1. Ito ang tulang ginawa ko lamang sa loob ng 5 minutes dahil inoorasan kami ni Sir. Kung ano man ang iniisip ko, iyon na ang isiulat ko at hindi ko na binago. Dito, lumabas ang creative juices ko. Para sa ibang tao, dito na lalabas kung ano man ang tunay na laman ng damdamin ng isang tao.

“Ang hawak mo lang ay papel at ballpen, tapos sa loob ng limang minuto, iyon lang ang oraas mo para gawin ang mga huling bagay dahil papatayin na kita. Ngayon, hawak ang papel at ballpen, anong isusulat mo?”

Malapit nang kunin ang buhay ko
Malapit nang matapos ang lahat ng ito
Konting oras na lang ang natitira
Upang ihayag ko ang aking nadarama.

Hindi ako mabuti, iyan ang masasabi ko
Hindi rin naman masama ang mga ginawa ko
Ngayon, ang tanging nais ko lang gawin
Ay ang ibigay sa mga mahal ko ang kanilang hinihiling.

Alam ko, oo, di ko magagawa iyon
Wala akong kapangyarihan upang gawin iyon
Pero ngayon, ang tangi ko lang magagawa
Ay ang isulat ang aking nadarama.

Gusto kong magpasalamat sa aking ina
Gayon din naman sa aking ama
Gusto kong sabihing mahal ko ang kapatid ko
Pati na rin siyempre ang kaibigan ko’t kabaro.

Humihingi ako ng tawad sa mga nagawan ko ng kasalanan
Minsan, alam ko, hindi ako naging mabuting anak at kaibigan
Ngayong aalis na ako, gusto ko na lamang sabihin sa inyo
Salamat, patawad, pupunta na ako sa dapat paroonan ko.

My Career is God’s Concern

Months before I went back to Manila, I was praying to God about career direction. I’d been at Gensan for almost two years and I have that burden to go back to Manila. Thoughts about my mom being at the hospital haunted me; thus, I wanted to stay by her side and spend as much time with her as I can. Back then, I didn’t want to regret not showing enough love for her and spending as much time as she wanted me to — when her only request was for me to go back to Manila.

I wanted to stay at Gensan because of the family atmosphere I’ve experienced with the teachers and students of The Quantum Academy, Inc. I wanted to serve God and share the gospel to these kids, but then I guess my time is already up at Gensan. My sole desire before working there was to see my father, and after seeing him, I guess I’d already fulfilled God’s purpose in my life at this place.

So, before going back, I had applied to internal openings for transfer to another department that would allow me to stay at the head office. God definitely didn’t answer my prayer to be part of the CorCom Dept., and so I still stayed another year as an LIS – this time as a consultant at the Ateneo grade school. It was intimidating for me since I do not know anyone from the school and I really have no idea if the teachers would accept me. One year passed and I was able to share my knowledge and skills to the teachers I’ve been afraid before. Thank heavens because for that year, I was able to convince Ateneo grade school, together with my generous LSS (Ms. Florabel Colupano), that our product is beneficial to students.

Then again, I had this burden to transfer department and be assigned a role where I can just stay at the head office. There is an opening for the position product development specialist and immediately, I applied for the position. I got the job and God allowed me to spend my weekends at home — where I shared stories with my mom and eventually took care of her when she was hospitalized. Definitely, God gave me that foresight to see what might happen in the future and since I cooperated with Him — I continued my intimate relationship with Jesus and followed His will, everything went well.

Now, as a product development specialist, I’ve learned so much about project managment, content development and e-learning. There have been so many downs and I’m asking God why He put me in such place — a place where I am not very much comfortable and He is always stretching me my limit. God impressed to me during my devotion that,

You are a work in progress. I put you in that place because I want you to learn, not only the skills but also the character I want you to exemplify when I put you to greater heights.

Definitely, God has great plans for me but it is very hard to trust something you don’t see. The Bible says that’s what faith really is for.

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and being certain of what we do not see.
– Hebrews 11:1 (CEV)

One of my dreams is to be part of a production where I can use my skills as development communicator. Another is to take a master’s degree that will enhance my education. This year, 2015, God impressed in my heart I have to get going and follow my desires to apply for a master’s degree. So right now, I’m preparing all the documents needed for a scholarship abroad. I’m still praying and believing that I will have favors after favors to complete my requirements; however, I know and I just have that confidence in Him who will let things come to pass. I am just amazed that for the past four years of my career, God has been working in my life as a professional and will continue on.

You may be on the same boat as me, but let me just encourage you that if He has been faithful to me with regards to my career, He will be faithful with yours as well. 😉

Unique in Me

When I was young (note: 10-15 years ago), my self-esteem still had to be developed big time. I rarely talk to anybody and my only way to express myself was through writing. Over the years, I’ve improved, yet, my love for writing as my way of expression never ceased. One way or another, I know each of us has this desire to be known, to be understood, to be appreciated and to accepted. However, somewhere along the way, this desire may have been quenched and there’s no way to let ourselves be known. Let me just encourage you that as an individual, I guess we just have to accept who are first and foremost before other any other person accepts us for who we are.

Anyway, this is a poem I’ve written way back Nov 24, 2004 as a requirement for my speech communication course. This is the first time I’ve written a poem and read it in front of the class. This act had, in one way or another, allowed myself to be known and be appreciated — a step to growing maturely, that is, taking risks.

Unique in Me

First of all, I want you to know that I don’t know what to say
Maybe because I’m not the type of girl who is always gay
I guess I’ll just tell you what’s unique in me
So that you will know what will see.

For many years, I’ve been searching
For a friend that is equally worth winning
When the time came that I have found them
I promised to myself that I will always keep them

They are always there when I am happy
They always comfort me when I am gloomy
With my friends, I can always be myself
And not like those who tries to be their other self

We’ve struggled through the hardest times
And during those times, our friendship binds
For each new problem that we encounter
We always make sure that we solve it together

And now, I guess you know what makes me unique
It’s the fact that I have my friends that I can always keep
With our principle, “we don’t owe the world any explanation”
I can now face the world with dignity and determination.

Subject-Verb Agreement

Back in college, we write so many reflection papers, essays, and submission articles. Our grade does not only rely on the substancial content but also on its structure. Thus, knowing the basic of all — the subject and verb agreement, is very essential.

I came across on my high school handouts on the subject-verb agreement and I think keeping a copy here in my hub might just help. This is a version I’ve paraphrased then according to my understanding so it would be easy to memorize. 🙂

1. A singular subject takes a singular verb; a plural subject takes a plural verb.
Ex. John skips meals.

2. The number of the subject is not changed by a prepositional phrase after the subject.
Ex. One of the delagates comes from Mindanao.

3. The following indefinite pronouns are singular: each, either, neither, one, everybody, no one, nobody, anyone, anybody, someone, somebody.
Ex. Everyone seems fulfilled.

4. The words a few, many, both, several take plural verbs.
Ex. Several men are in the office.

5. When the words some, any, none and all are followed by a phrase, the verb agrees with the phrase.
Ex. Some of the food was served.
Some of the children are playing.

6. Nouns plural in form but singular in meaning such as physics, economics, mathematics, measles, civics, news, etc. take singular verb.
Ex. Mathematics is our subject.

7. Agreement with compound subjects:

a. A compund subject connected by and generally takes plural verb.
Ex. My bestfriend and my nephew visit me everyday.

b. Compound subjects that are closely related or that refer to the same person or thing take a singular verb.
Ex. Paper and ballpen comes in handy together.

c. A compound subject involving the use of each or every takes a singular verb.
Ex. Every man and woman has the ability to forgive others.

d. Compound subjects joined by either-or and neither-nor take singular verbs depending upon the nearer subject.
Ex. Either the students or the teacher complains to the school administration.

8. Intervening words like together with, in addition to, as well as, including and similar constructions following the subject do not affect the number of the subject.
Ex. Mrs. Tina Pakan, together with her children, has left for Brgy. Dinaanan.

9. Words or phrases expressing periods of time, weights, measurement and amounts of money are usually regarded as singular.
Ex. Five pesos is enough to buy some bread.

10. Fractions may take singular or plural verbs depending on the of-phrase.
Ex. Three-halves of the beans were cooked.

11.Collective nouns take singular verbs when they are used to denote a unit; they take plural verbs when used to refer to the individual members of the group.
Ex. The family is leaving for abroad.
The family are discussing departure plans.

12. When the subject and the predicate noun are of different numbers, the verb agrees with the subject, not the predicate noun.
Ex. The ship’s cargo was pineapples.
Pineapples were the ship’s cargo.

13. The expression the number takes a singular verb; the expression a number takes a plural verb.
Ex. The number of students is big.
A number of rebellions were on guard.

14. The title of a book, even when plural in form, takes a singular verb.
Ex. Origin of Species is a book written by Charles Darwin.

15. There is/was; Here is/was is followed by a singular noun. There are/were; Here are/were is followed by a plural noun.
Ex. There is a God that sees all.
There are books that are not worth reading.

Reference: Prentice-Hall, Inc (2004). Grammar and Composition 4. Pearson Education South Asia Pte. Ltd., Jurong, Singapore.

Things I Thank God for 2014

It is this time of the year that I get another two weeks of vacation from my 8-6 corporate job. My 2014 has been a roller coaster ride with so many ups and downs; nevertheless, there are so much I’m thankful for this year:

1) Gift of family

Above photo shows me, my mom and my sister. For the year 2014, we have been blessed financially, and our relationships are much much better than before. My sister and I are closer now than we were before. With my mom, I realized that spending more time with her every weekend allows me to learn how kind-hearted and generous she is as a person.

2) Gift of finances

Every year when I was little, I’d always expect gifts and the pamasko that I’ll receive and be able to save. Then, that time came when I’m à bit older and money was scarce, that even my ninong and ninang were nowhere to be found. Life was à struggle especially when resources were low. As I look back, I’m grateful that God has given me now the ability to give. It may not be much but at least it will give à smile to anyone who will receive it. God has been faithful with our finances. He may not give all our wants, but definitely He does provide all our needs — and that is one thing I am so grateful for.

3) Gift of friends

Though we’re not complete without Den, these gals are my high school friends. They prove to me that friendship can last à lifetime.

Missing Joanne and Nikki in the photo. I consider my vgroup friends as gems when it comes to friendship and fellowship. They help me cultivate my relationship with Jesus and they provide an example of how to be a woman with a heart for Christ. 🙂

They are my Gensan pals, though I’m missing Chelo in the picture. 🙂 When I was alone in the land of the generals years ago, they remind me of my identity and allow me to enjoy what it is to open your heart to these ladies.

My office buddies. When work gets rough and the environment tries to pull me down, they remind me not to be so serious and care for me like I’m their younger sister. Work is hard but definitely they make it easy.

I don’t have photos of my other friends (Genyo, PMCC, Quantum, Devcom) but definitely, they’ve made a mark in my life and for that I am very grateful to God for giving such relationships to cherish.

4) Gift of life

Last but not the least, I thank God for allowing me to exist for 26 years and experience life full of lessons. Many characters become mainstay in all chapters in my life, and though others appear only in one chapter, they still are important factors to who I am right now. That ability to breathe every time I wake up, to see the goodness and wonder of His works, to listen to the songs He has annointed to touch the lives of people, to walk this jouney and run with enthusiasm, and to speak encouragements to people who needed it most is enough for me to be grateful and be contented. I am always reminded of that verse in Isaiah 43:4 (CEV),

To me, you are very dear, and I love you. That’s why I gave up nations and people to rescue you.

This season of giving and celebration, let the love of Jesus overwhelm your being as He came here on earth for our sake. As for me, I will be grateful and contented with what He has given me. 🙂

Starving Sons #DeathtoSelfie

Starving Sons
Week 2 #DeathtoSelfie Series Notes
Elevation Church

1) Growth in age doesn’t mean growth in character.

2) Beware of unsatisfied appetites that become exaggerated emotions
– Esau compromised because he was hungry
– He agreed with Jacob’s offer because he was hungry
– Beware of the quick fix that is available in your times of hunger

3) Beware of the temptation to give up what you want most for what you want now.

What will you choose? Birthright (inheritance) vs bowl of beans (immediate gratifications, or weakness)
It is bad deal to choose bowl of beans (now) to birthright (spiritual inheritance)
It is in the Bible, you have an inheritance as a child of God

What are those inheritance?
Peace, joy, love, patience and long-suffering, self-control, other fruits of the spirit, etc

However, if we choose those bowls of beans, those indulgence to our weakness, to what we want now, then we exchange our inheritance.

You may ask, what if you have already exchanged your inheritance? You have already exchanged your birthright and you wanted to take it back? Is there any 2nd chance?

God tells us about the story of the prodigal son.

The prodigal son takes his inheritance away and enjoyed his life. When there is nothing left, he waws starving. But he remembered his father who is rich.

He goes back. What his father does is incredible. He accepts the lost son, runs from the veranda when he saw him, hugged him and kissed him, and called his servants to give him the best.

The lost son says he doesn’t deserve it, but the father says he is still his son.

Jesus is the firstborn son who has not taken the bowl of bean soup for a bread during the forty days fast because He is already the bread of Life. He has the inheritance and He is transferring that to us — we just have to believe. God accepts us because we are still his sons and daughter. We deserve to die because of our sins, but if we believe in what Jesus did on the cross 2,000 years ago — that Jesus has already atoned our sins — then, in return, He has made us clean. Just like the prodigal son, He accepts us and gives us our inheritance.

Don’t exchange your inheritance to a bowl of soup. Don’t exchange temptations to worries, to grumble, to porn, to immediate gratification of desires with your inheritance from God, your eternal life.