in Reflections

Still

Have you ever loved someone?
Have you ever felt the feeling that you have found the one?
Well, in my case, I don’t know if he’s right guy for me
But I always prayed to God that, someday, somehow, he would be my destiny.

Ok, I know I’m still young and have lots of things to learn
But what can I do? I am only a human, a being capable of loving
I know I must first have great titles to earn
Before I can venture in the world full loving and caring.

I guess you’d be surprised if I tell you that I hate him at first
“We are competitors,” that’s what I tell myself at most
He competes with me in academics and so am I
I don’t even care if he’s a cutie pie.

When our paths would meet, we would avoid each other
When we must work together, we always choose another
I don’t like him I don’t know why
Maybe because he always competes with me and makes me cry.

For almost two years, we were always like these
We didn’t do anything that would make each other please
Until one day, I just realized I badly needed his help
Because I couldn’t finish that work only by myself.

And so, I humbled myself and asked him to help me
Even though I know we didn’t treat each other fairly
He gladly lend a hand and helped me with my work
Even though he knows I avoid him at most.

By this gesture, it surprised me a lot
And because of this, I admire him somewhat
This admiration grew as time passed by
For I became a friend with this kind of guy.

I planned to tell him what I felt about him
But then, the opportunity I see was somewhat dim
For a friend told me that he is longing for another
And so, my dreams with him were really broken after.

Now, I’m trying hard to forget that he’s really the one
But I know in my heart that my feelings are still not gone
I’m still hoping and praying that someday we will be
But for now, I guess I’ll just reach out what I wanted to be.

*This is a poem I’ve written last January 16-17, 2005 for my speech communication course.

My inspiration for this poem: my first crush in high school. 🙂

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